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School Anxiety and Refusal: How Parents Can Help
Why some children resist going to school, the difference between nerves and anxiety, and steps that help without escalating conflict.
By Samuel Divaker, MDJuly 10, 2026Medically reviewed July 10, 2026
Morning stomachaches and tearful drop-offs are common, and they are usually treatable. The key is responding early, before avoidance becomes a pattern.
Nerves versus anxiety
- Nerves: brief, tied to a specific event, settles once the day starts.
- Anxiety: persistent worry, physical symptoms most mornings, avoidance grows over time.
- Physical complaints that disappear on weekends and holidays are a strong clue.
What helps at home
- Keep mornings calm and predictable; prepare the night before.
- Acknowledge the feeling without agreeing that school is dangerous.
- Keep goodbyes short, warm, and confident.
- Return to school as quickly as possible; each missed day makes the next harder.
- Praise effort and attendance, not just perfect days.
Working with the school
- Ask for a check-in adult your child can go to.
- Arrange a quiet space for a short reset instead of going home.
- Rule out bullying, learning struggles, or a difficult social situation.
When to involve us
Call if avoidance lasts more than a week or two, if physical symptoms are frequent, or if your child talks about hopelessness. We can evaluate, rule out medical causes, and connect your family with counseling support.
When to call Divaker Pediatrics
Our Mount Dora office is here for questions big and small. Call 352-383-8386 to schedule a visit, or use the healow patient portal to send a message to our team. If your child has a medical emergency, call 911.